This past Shabbat, a guest and I were discussing an article on tzniut.
I’ve always struggled with reducing tzniut strictly to what a woman wears and the classical definition of modesty.
To me, tzniut is better defined as dignity.
It’s how we carry ourselves, how we conduct our lives, and how we treat others.
Tonight is Tu B’Av, often called the Jewish holiday of love, but it isn’t really the Jewish version of Valentine’s Day.
The Mishnah tells us that the young women of Jerusalem went out together to the vineyards to meet potential husbands. They shared and borrowed white clothing so nobody would be embarrassed because she didn’t have something suitable to wear.
Nobody had to sit this one out because she didn’t own the right dress. By going out together and making sure everyone had what she needed, they created a way for everyone to show up, be seen, and have a chance.
To me, that is tzniut as dignity in action: not reducing someone to what she owns or whether she can afford to look the part.
When I first started organizing, I thought the best way to help someone was to be in her home one-on-one. But over time, I realized that for many women, online group sessions are actually more powerful.
First, it helps you build independence. You make the decisions and do the work, creating habits that actually stick because you built them.
Second, and most importantly, it preserves your dignity while giving you strength.
Organizing can feel overwhelming and lonely. But when you’re in a virtual room with other women all tackling the things they’ve been avoiding, the energy shifts. You see someone else start, get unstuck, and make progress, and suddenly it’s easier to keep going yourself.
That’s what Tidy Together is.
Everyone is working on her own thing, in her own home, but the energy is shared. When you see other people start, get unstuck, make decisions, and move forward, it becomes easier to keep moving on your own.
It isn’t about showing off a perfectly curated home. You can bring the junk drawer, the mountain of paperwork, the half-unpacked box, or the admin task you’ve avoided for months. No one is judging your space, in fact, you can keep your camera off the entire time if you prefer.
During each 55-minute session, we do three focused work sprints, followed by a quick check-in to answer questions and map out next steps and giving you a pat on your back for all the hard things you just did!
You do your own work in your own home. But like the women of Tu B’Av, you don’t have to do it alone—you draw strength from the women showing up right alongside you.
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