You know that feeling when you keep trying to make something work, and reality keeps saying, “Yeah, not gonna happen.”
You research, you plan, you buy the supplies, you create the spreadsheet, you watch the video, you make a list… and somehow the thing still isn’t getting done.
You end up saying to yourself, why does this always happen to me? Or why can’t I just do this?
Parshat Balak is a story about that moment.
It’s not really about Balak, or Bilaam, or the talking donkey, or even about Pinchas. (I mean it is, but it’s meant to teach us something really important…)
It’s about what you do when your current approach isn’t working anymore.
Balak and Bilaam end up with the same problem but for different reasons.
They’re both trying to control things they can’t control, but Balak, convinced the Jewish people are his problem, tries to find a solution to something that isn’t even really a problem. Bilaam, on the other hand, knows he won’t be able to help Balak but doesn’t turn him away.
The Jewish people, meanwhile, have absolutely no idea they’re supposed to be anyone’s problem, and they are just doing their best to get to the Promised Land.
If Balak had simply left the Jewish people alone, they would have continued on their journey.
Instead, he spends enormous amounts of time, money, and energy trying to control a situation that has nothing to do with him.
Bilaam knows exactly what he can and cannot do. The problem isn’t that he doesn’t know the answer. The problem is that he doesn’t like it, so he keeps looking for another way around it.
He’s not confused, he’s negotiating, because for whatever reason he wants to do what Balak is asking of him.
Then there’s the donkey and she may be the wisest character in the entire parsha.
Balak the king can’t see the issue.
Bilaam the prophet can’t see the issue.
But the donkey can see the angel that is blocking the way with a sword. She actively does what she can to avoid the angel, turns off the road, crushes Bilaam’s foot against a wall trying, and finally just lies down and refuses to move.
From Bilaam’s point of view, she’s being difficult, but in reality she’s the only one in the story being reasonable.
When Hashem opens her mouth, she basically says:
“Have I ever acted like this before? If I suddenly won’t go forward, maybe there’s a reason.”
The donkey sees the obstacle, changes course, stops, and speaks up. (I always imagine she was mumbling under her breath and then her voice got amplified.)
Everyone else is trying to force reality to cooperate, but she actually looks, sees that this is not the solution, and shuts it down.
We all have that “donkey” part of ourselves, but we usually ignore it and get upset about it.
You get to the car and realize you don’t have your keys, so you go back inside, get the keys, get back to the car, and realize you forgot your phone.
Then you get back to the car and realize you forgot your water bottle, so you go back inside for the water bottle, but now you’re annoyed because you’re running late.
But maybe you’re only running late for your plan.
On Hashem’s plan you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
The problem is that most of us never stop long enough to ask whether there’s something we’re supposed to be noticing, or that maybe the delay is saving us from some place we don’t want to be because we’re too busy trying to get back on schedule.
Sometimes the story looks different.
You’ve had something on your to-do list for a while, like clearing out all your papers, but instead of sitting down and doing the work, you get obsessed with which type of filing system you need, buying more storage, getting a scanner, and gathering all the pieces before you even know what you need.
Obstacles, delays, and recurring issues are information.
The donkey is the part of us saying:
“This isn’t working.”
But that part of us doesn’t always know the next step.
Enter Pinchas.
Balak changes his approach and eventually gets the Jewish people to sin.
Pinchas sees what’s happening and asks Moshe what should be done.
Once he understands the situation, he acts.
He doesn’t stand around wishing things were different.
He doesn’t wait for someone else to solve the problem.
He sees what is in front of him and takes responsibility for his piece of it.
The donkey says:
“Something isn’t working. I need to stop.”
Pinchas says:
“Something isn’t working. I need to act.”
Both of these statements have their place.
BTW – this isn’t an argument against preparation, there are things in life that, even if they aren’t part of our current stage of life, are inevitable.
If you’ve worked with me for any length of time, you know I’m not anti-planning. I love when you tell me you’re working on getting your will done, updating your insurance, making meal plans, setting up calendars and systems, and figuring out the order of operations.
Those things matter.
They’re your issues. (Unlike the Jewish people and Balak.)
The problem is when you’re constantly trying to find a way to push through something you may not need to do, or shouldn’t do, and you don’t realize it’s hurting you.
In organizing, that looks like trying to fit more stuff into your house instead of owning less stuff.
Reorganizing the same closet for the fifth time.
Researching the perfect system instead of using the perfectly good one you already built.
Tweaking instead of doing.
Overscheduling things and thinking you are the only one who can do them.
At some point the system is built, and you have to move on to the next thing, even though it may be a challenge, even though it may seem impossible, even though it may be scary.
Then the work is to stop negotiating and take the next step.
My most successful clients aren’t the ones with the prettiest planners or the most color-coded systems.
They’re the ones who notice when they’re rolling a boulder uphill and are willing to ask whether there might be a better way.
Most people don’t need more information.
Usually they already know what needs to be done.
What they need is time to think.
Space to work.
Someone to ask the question they haven’t thought to ask.
Someone to notice when they’re standing on yet another mountain hoping for a different answer.
That’s one of the reasons I created Journey To Organization and Tidy Together.
Yes, everyone is working on their own project.
Some people are decluttering.
Some are tackling paperwork.
Some are working on meal planning, business projects, or goals they’ve been avoiding for months.
But while you’re working, I’m paying attention.
I answer questions, troubleshoot problems, help you break projects into manageable pieces, and sometimes help you recognize that you’re standing on yet another mountain hoping for a different answer.
If you’ve been acting a little too much like Bilaam lately, trying the same thing over and over and hoping the answer changes, this is your reminder.
And yes, I recommend buying a package.
Not because one session can’t help.
It absolutely can.
But momentum matters.
The people who make the biggest changes are rarely the people who show up once.
They’re the people who keep showing up.
They give themselves enough time to learn what’s working, enough support to recognize what isn’t, and enough opportunities to adjust course before they give up.
That’s where real change happens.
Grab a Tidy Together package here
Then book your sessions and put them on your calendar.
Future You will be grateful.
Stop negotiating and take the next step.